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Written by: YEUNG Ming Ha, Registered Chinese Medicine Practitioner

As we move into early autumn, in addition to starting to feel the cool breezes, we also notice that many of our friends around us have started to “itch”, and skin problems have come knocking on the door again! Many people have rushed to seek medical attention, constantly inquiring whether they have already contracted incurable eczema. Although eczema itself has different categories, in terms of the pathogenesis, there are many similarities with skin sensitivity. How exactly should we distinguish between skin sensitivity and eczema? Is eczema really as terrible as it seems?

1. Causes of the Condition

Eczema is a common type of allergic dermatitis that is not contagious. In traditional Chinese medicine, it is referred to as “damp sores”, and it is a very common skin condition. The internal factors of eczema include constitution, emotions, and organ dysfunction, while the external factors include wind, dampness, and heat obstructing the skin. “Where evil congregates, the vital energy must be deficient.” When the body’s righteous qi is weakened, and the immune system function is reduced, wind, dampness, and heat evils permeate the skin, leading to the development or worsening of eczema.

Skin sensitivity, also known as urticaria, is closely related to certain food sensitivities or contact with substances. There are two common types of skin sensitivity. The first is an allergic reaction triggered by exposure to external irritants such as metals, dust mites, and chemicals. The second is caused by food sensitivity, which can lead to varying degrees of skin sensitivity issues, including redness, dryness, and peeling, as well as intense itching that may result in a “scratching” sensation.

2. Differences in the Appearance of the Affected Areas

In terms of the appearance of the skin rash, skin sensitivity generally presents with redness, and even urticaria, which can worsen after scratching. Acute eczema can manifest with red rashes, oozing, and even bleeding, while chronic eczema can lead to thickening of the stratum corneum, an uneven surface, dryness, and even cracking. Once this thickened stratum corneum is scratched off, it can not only cause bleeding, but also result in oozing. Moreover, eczema can occur on any part of the body, such as the ears, head, face, hands, navel, and legs, but in a symmetrical distribution. Patients often experience intense itching, and when they scratch the affected areas, it can lead to skin erosion, oozing of serous fluid, and even the formation of thick crusts. The repeated episodes can make the skin surface rough and with raised lesions.

3. Treatments Converge Towards the Same Goal

Skin problems are primarily related to the three pathogenic factors of wind, dampness, and heat, especially dampness. Dampness can engender heat, leading to a damp-heat pattern. Over time, dampness can injure the spleen, while heat can damage the yin blood, resulting in a mixed pattern of deficiency and excess. This is because the patient’s innate constitution (inherent physical factors) is intolerant, with a weakened spleen and stomach, leading to the generation of internal damp-heat. When combined with an external wind evil, the internal and external evils interact, causing the wind-damp-heat evil to permeate the skin. Patients generally have a congenitally weak spleen and stomach constitution. Excessive consumption of spicy, irritating foods like seafood, or a large intake of raw, cold foods in summer can lead to dampness and toxins burdening the body, further impairing the spleen’s function and increasing the likelihood of developing skin sensitivity.

Therefore, dietary adjustment is crucial in the treatment of skin problems. Patients with skin diseases should avoid “aggravating foods” during the treatment period. These include seafood, beef, sweets, spicy foods, and alcohol – items that can trigger or worsen skin rashes. Patients should also avoid various skin irritants, such as scratching, using strongly alkaline soaps, taking hot showers, and engaging in activities that cause excessive sweating, as these can provide relief for eczema.

Written by：Yiu Yee Chiu, Chinese Doctor

Every parent hopes that their child will develop well and quickly, even if they may not surpass others. In medicine, there is a condition that falls between “disease” and “physiology” that greatly troubles both parents and children. This is “pediatric nocturnal enuresis.”

Pediatric nocturnal enuresis is a stage in physiological development, but if a child is still unable to control their urination and wets the bed after the age of 5, it becomes a problem. Pediatric nocturnal enuresis can be divided into two types: primary and secondary. The former is due to pathological reasons, such as spina bifida or developmental delays. The latter refers to when a child has previously gained control but then loses it for some reason. The most common cause is an unexplained developmental delay.

Medication, Physical Therapy, and Lifestyle: A Tripartite Cooperation

From a Chinese medicine perspective, the generation of urine is related to multiple organs. The main causes are kidney qi deficiency, spleen and lung qi deficiency, and liver channel stagnation and heat. Clinically, kidney qi deficiency is the primary factor. Unlike adult enuresis or secondary enuresis in children, the condition generally improves after a few months of treatment. However, the treatment must involve a combination of medication, physical therapy, and lifestyle adjustments.

Chinese Herbal Treatment: The main herbs are Mulberry Twig, Medicated Leech, Rougan, Schisandra, Yam, and Mulberry Parasitic Plant.

Physical Therapy: Acupuncture and massage, focusing on the bladder and kidney channels on the back.

Strict Diet: Avoid cold, raw foods and beverages to prevent further damage to kidney qi.

Diet Therapy: Incorporating walnuts, lotus seeds, and Dioscorea as side dishes or desserts.

Pre-Bed Warm Compress: Every night before bed, use a warm compress on the bladder shu points along the bladder channel. For better results, you can wrap the compress with a cloth bag containing roasted fennel, white pepper, or Sichuan peppercorn.

In fact, nocturnal enuresis is not uncommon, and the vast majority of children will fully recover. Therefore, the most important thing is how to help the child smoothly transition through this stage. If parents handle it improperly, it may affect the child’s self-esteem. Therefore, it is crucial to consult a doctor for a proper examination and diagnosis to truly help the child.

Written by: Ms. Ng Yee Kam, Founder and CEO of Family Dynamics

                     Marriage and Family Therapist

                     Child Play Therapist

Many parents complain that as their children grow older, they become less willing to talk to their parents, and the relationship becomes more distant and indifferent. Parents begin to not know what is on their children’s minds, what their school life is like, and what their friends are like. As far as the eye can see, it’s all gaming, watching TV, surfing the internet, WhatsApp, WeChat, and Instagram! Parents inevitably develop a sense of unease, because it feels like they have lost connection with their beloved children. The more uneasy parents become, the more they want to pull their children back. But the methods they use are often questioning, regulating, criticizing, and blaming, showing a lack of understanding and trust towards their children’s behavior. From the children’s perspective, the parents’ “concern” and “care” feel like control and unreasonableness. As a result, the more the parents want to get closer to their children, the more the children want to avoid their parents! This chasing creates a tense and awkward parent-child relationship, which is truly a pity!

Whether it’s the evolution of society or the nurturing of the next generation, the role of parents is the most important. Parents have multiple responsibilities: care, provision, guidance, and demonstration. The best way to connect the relationship between parents and children and create positive interactions is the way parents convey love and care, which can make children truly feel it. Sometimes parents may be surprised and ask, “Isn’t this how I show concern? How could he not feel it?” In fact, each child’s needs may be different, and the way they crave care may also be different. If parents do not approach it from the child’s perspective, but only selfishly use their own perspective to understand and the methods they are used to in showing care, even if parents “circle around” the child, the same result may occur: one chases, one walks!

For children to truly feel their parents’ love and care, the key lies in whether the parents’ focus is on the children themselves, or only on the children’s performance. If the parents’ care is focused on the child, the child will definitely feel it, and they will respond in a positive way. If the parents’ concern is only about the child’s performance, the child will eventually become alienated from the parents, and may even shut them out.

If we compare the following examples of what parents say to their children, we can see the difference between “caring for the child” and “caring for the child’s performance”:

When parents come home from work and ask their children:

A “Did you have a happy day at school today?”

B “Did you finish your homework today?”

When the child gets a 65 on a test, the parents say:

A “Are you feeling disappointed with this score? Perhaps you feel unhappy, you can share your feelings with me!”

B “You’ve been lazy and unfocused, how can you get good grades like this? If you don’t work harder, you’ll fail again next time, and might even have to repeat the grade!”

In the busy pace of life, it is not easy to establish a good parent-child relationship! Establishing positive interactions and connections with your children is the only way to provide them with continuous encouragement and support as they grow up. If you’re not careful and choose the wrong way of expressing yourself, even though the parents may have a lot of love in their hearts, the children may not accept it!

Written by: Lai Shun Mei, Family Dynamics Counselor and Global Career Developer

When a child is born, people like to discuss his appearance, using his resemblance to his parents as a topic of conversation, and talk about which attractive features he has inherited from them. As he grows older and his temperament begins to show, they also like to explore whose personality he resembles.

It is generally easier to get along with someone who has a similar temperament because similar personalities and preferences make it easier to connect. If a child has a temperament similar to their parents, it seems to make parenting easier. However, it often seems like God enjoys playing jokes on us by giving us “mismatched” children: an outgoing and lively mother ends up with a quiet and introverted daughter; a hot-tempered father faces a sensitive and sentimental son; a mother who doesn’t understand fun encounters a hedonistic son.

Parents who seek help often share the common issue of having difficulty getting along with their “mismatched” child. They cannot accept the child’s nature, do not understand the child’s behavior, and do not know how to properly guide their child.

The outgoing and lively mother “complained” to me: “My daughter dawdles, is hesitant, and doesn’t dare to make friends outside.” She couldn’t understand: “What’s so difficult about brushing teeth? What’s so scary about attending English class? What’s there to be shy about when meeting other kids?” Why is her daughter nothing like her but instead resembles her indecisive, introverted, timid, and unambitious father? As she spoke, she indirectly revealed to me that her problem was not accepting her spouse and projecting her dissatisfaction with her spouse onto their daughter. Therefore, the issue was not with her daughter but with their marital relationship.

The hot-tempered father had to come for advice because his son only got along with his mother and not with him. He deeply loved his son and did not want him to grow up being overly sensitive and tearful like a girl. The older the child got, the more anxious the father became. However, under insults and strict orders, the child did not become stronger but instead became more withdrawn, clinging to his mother and refusing to leave her side. It was only after understanding the situation that it became clear that this father had grown up amidst beatings and insults. He believed his own strength came from such an upbringing, not realizing that those painful experiences had become implicit memories affecting his relationship with his son.

The mother, who claimed she did not know how to play and did not need to play, was at a loss with her son, who was solely focused on playing. She said her son was careless with his studies but persistently focused on play. How could she change her son’s attitude towards his studies? I was curious about this mother’s claim—who wouldn’t like to play? Seeking happiness is human nature, so why did she insist she did not need entertainment? It turned out that she was also playful as a child but was strictly disciplined by her mother, who did not allow her to “waste” time. Gradually, her life lacked playmates, and when she played with her mother, her mother remained serious and uncompromising, often causing her to lose and feel sad. Over time, she grew to dislike playing games. Her mother “successfully” shaped her into someone who “did not like” to play, someone who appeared strong and focused on studies but was also rigid, insecure, and lacking in joy. No wonder she did not understand how to get along with her naturally joyful son.

It turns out that God “mismatched” children for us with a purpose. He wants us to reflect on our relationships with our spouses and parents, and our own growth experiences through the frustrations of interacting with our children, thereby sorting out these relationships and resolving these emotional knots.

Parents’ lack of acceptance of their children is a reflection of their lack of acceptance of themselves. A lack of confidence in their children is a lack of confidence in themselves. By taking care of “mismatched” children, parents feel challenged and then become aware of their own pain points. With the help of a therapist, they begin a journey of self-exploration. They clarify and straighten out their family relationships, gaining rebirth and growth in the process. Children are born as they are, and there is no mismatch. Let us make good use of this opportunity for growth!

Written by: Hong Kong Registered Psychologist, Ching Wai Keung

Around nine months of age, babies become unusually clingy. Even if the mother goes to the bathroom, the baby may appear extremely anxious, clinging tightly to the mother and even crying loudly.

Separation anxiety can lead to two different types of reactions. In some cases, when separated from the caregiver, the baby will exhibit attachment-seeking behaviors, such as clinging to the mother, trying every possible way to find the mother, or crawling wherever the mother goes (Ainsworth, Bell, & Stayton, 1971). Separation can also result in behaviors such as despair, resistance, and detachment, depending on the duration of the separation (Bowlby, 1960; Robertson & Robertson, 1989).

A child’s reaction to separation can also change depending on the environment. For example, in a familiar home environment, the child will exhibit less anxiety compared to being in an unfamiliar environment (Ross, Kagan, Zelazo, & Kotelchuck, 1975).

Around seven months of age, the concept of object permanence begins to emerge in children. They understand that even if they cannot see someone or something, it does not mean that the person or object has disappeared. When children are able to establish this concept, their separation anxiety will relatively decrease. If the mother can frequently communicate with the child, express positive emotions and feelings towards the infant, and provide appropriate stimulation and assistance, the child will more easily grasp and apply the concept of object permanence to both objects and people (Chazan, 1981).

Helping children cope with separation anxiety requires a certain amount of time, allowing the child and caregiver to develop a close, attached emotional relationship (Attachment), and waiting for the child’s own development to mature before it can be effective. For a two-year-old child, they can use photographs to alleviate their feelings of sorrow when separated from their caregiver (Passman & Longeway, 1982); a three-year-old child can even stay overnight at their grandparents’ house without their parents being present.

Whether a child can develop this kind of “resilience” depends on whether the caregiver and the child can establish a close emotional relationship. Once the mutual relationship is established, the child can soothe their anxiety caused by separation by imagining the image of their parents and recalling their parents’ love (Development Through Life, Barbara M. Newman, Philip R. Newman, Wadsworth, 2003).

Written by：Cheng Sui Man

The children can’t stop coughing, often continuing for an entire month, especially severe in the middle of the night, waking up from coughing, leading to insomnia, and then falling asleep from extreme fatigue. This is torturous for both children and adults! What exactly causes this persistent coughing? Is it sensitivity or inflammation of the trachea? Upon consulting a doctor, it turns out this is also a form of asthma!

Children are naturally more prone to having narrower airways due to their young age, making them more susceptible to nasal congestion, snoring, and even shortness of breath even with just a common cold. However, unlike bronchitis, a common cold usually recovers within a week, but the cough from bronchitis can last over twenty days, so it’s not surprising that the coughing continues for a month from the onset of the illness.

This leads to another question: Why does bronchitis occur? According to doctors, one common cause is the child contracting the Respiratory Syncytial Virus (RSV). This is a very common virus that spreads through droplets and air. It causes the airways to constrict and become inflamed, producing mucus that accumulates and further narrows the airways, stimulating the patient to cough and creating a vicious cycle. Doctors indicate that in these cases, bronchodilator medication may be prescribed to reduce symptoms and allow the child’s immune system to fight off the virus. However, once a child has been infected with RSV, the airways are somewhat damaged, increasing the likelihood of developing asthma in the future. As the doctor explained, my eldest son had indeed been hospitalized due to RSV infection in the past, and since then, every time he catches a cold and coughs, his recovery time is longer than that of my younger son!

“So it seems your eldest son might indeed have asthma,” the doctor’s conclusion was definitely the last thing I wanted to hear. Asthma, in its worst case, can be fatal! Wait, that’s the worst-case scenario. The doctor added that asthma is actually classified into four stages.

Stage 1: Intermittent Asthma

Usually caused by respiratory viruses such as RSV or filtrable viruses, occurring sporadically a few times a year, with normal conditions the rest of the time. Therefore, it is only necessary to use a bronchodilator during episodes of airway constriction and shortness of breath to relieve discomfort without significant side effects, and there is no need for long-term medication.

However, if the airway constriction is not properly relieved, the airways can become increasingly prone to narrowing, and the asthma could progress.

Stage 2: Mild Persistent Asthma

Patients have episodes about once or twice a month, and bronchodilators are insufficient to manage the condition. Inhaled steroids are needed to “treat the root cause” and control inflammation. Inhaled steroids come in different strengths, and the doctor will prescribe the appropriate dosage as needed.

Stage 3: Moderate Persistent Asthma

Patients have asthma attacks on average once a week and need to use a bronchodilator daily.

Stage 4: Severe Persistent Asthma

Patients need to use a bronchodilator daily, three to four times a day, while also using inhaled steroids to control the condition.

Following the doctor’s advice, I should no longer be afraid to let my child use inhaled bronchodilators! Relieving the child’s coughing and asthma symptoms early on can also hopefully prevent the worsening of asthma conditions in the long run.

Written by: Dr. Chi-Yuen TIK, Chief Executive, The Hong Kong Institute of Family Education

In the journey of parental education, I love to listen to parents share their experiences and reflections on disciplining their children. Exchanging and encouraging each other is the most comprehensive content of parenting education. There is no place in the world that requires parents to pass an exam before they can have children. Everyone is learning as they go, realizing things later on, and gradually becoming “experienced” parents. Children have expectations of you, society has demands on you, and parents themselves cannot afford to be lazy, so they actively learn theories and techniques for disciplining their children.

I remember a father sharing how he dealt with his son’s request to buy sneakers when the son was in the eighth grade. He told his son he would give him four hundred dollars. Naturally, the son felt it was not enough, but the father told him that four hundred dollars could buy a pair of sneakers, and if it wasn’t enough, the son would have to figure it out himself. In the end, the son bought the sneakers he wanted, but the price was saving his breakfast and lunch money to make the purchase. He said although his son was happy with the new sneakers, he also experienced days of hunger, and in the future, he would think carefully before making a purchase. The father expressed that it was tough for him to see his son go through this, but he thought it was important for his son to understand the principle of living within one’s means, even if it meant letting his son experience it firsthand.

During a lecture on how to cultivate self-care abilities in young children, a mother of a K3 student shared that her son always relied on her to pack up his homework. Over time, her son’s dependence on her increased. After much reflection, the mother decided to apply what she had learned from parenting seminars. She told her son that he needed to take care of his own things and that she would no longer pack his school bag for him. She was also mentally prepared for her son to be reprimanded by the teacher for not handing in his homework. As expected, to avoid further scolding from the teacher, the son started to pack his school bag by himself every day. Although he may not yet fully understand the importance of taking responsibility for his own affairs, he has begun to take his own matters seriously and no longer relies on his mother’s “help.” The mother also stopped providing unconstructive help and care for her son.

After all, classroom learning is enjoyable, but practical application can be painfully insightful, with a mix of joys and challenges. While applying parenting techniques, it is also a challenge to the parents’ personal values and life experiences. Parents also need to have a balanced mindset and self-awareness. This is precisely the purpose of parenting education.

Written by : Octopus Parent, Leung Wing Lok

Legendary parenting KOL Mrs Mak (i.e., McDull’s mom) once said: “There was a child who told a big lie, and the next day, he died…” Teaching children about consequences and costs is an unavoidable responsibility for parents. Thus, yesterday, my little daughter Yin and I had the following conversation at the dinner table:

Yin: I’m leaving half of my meal, please, dad, cover for me.

Dad: What attitude is that, always expecting me to cover for you, do you know the cost is significant for me?

Yin: What cost?

Dad: The cost means consequences (answering randomly), the cost of eating too much is getting fat.

Yin: But you are already very fat. (Instant kill)

Dad: There’s also a cost for leaving your food; I will take away your candies, let’s see if you dare to leave your food again. (Embarrassed and angry)

Yin: Woo… I don’t get fat from eating candies, but you’re still very fat without eating them.

Dad: I’m getting fat because I always have to cover for you guys. (The more he answers, the sadder he gets)

Taking away candies for leaving food, otherwise, dad, the king of covering, will only get fatter. Since the birth of my son, Hope, my weight has increased by more than 30%, so I must immediately stop the children from casually leaving their food, or else fat dad will have to pay a heavy “weighty” price.

In fact, the garbage we discard every day also comes at a cost to Hong Kong’s environment. I’m not talking about the consequences of littering fines of $1500 or the like, but in the past thirty years, while Hong Kong’s population has grown by only 30%, the total amount of municipal solid waste has increased by nearly 84%, far outpacing the overall growth. This is because everyone thinks there is no cost to throwing away trash, but in reality, the process of waste disposal not only occupies precious land (which Hong Kong people feel most ‘painfully’), but also consumes a lot of manpower and resources… These ‘costs’ are something that Hong Kong people have not thought about bearing in the past, but many Asian cities including Seoul and Taipei have implemented solid waste charging for many years with success. Why can’t the citizens of Hong Kong bear this together?

After a long-winded explanation to my little daughter Yin… “Dad, with all the nonsense you talk on a daily basis, can I charge you a fee to help you reduce waste and bear the burden together?”